So I find out I’m expecting. This time it was planned, but I didn’t think it would happen so fast, especially after believing for so long, it may not be a possibility for me. A lot of you may be thinking, did you continue on your journey? Did you have a healthy pregnancy? Girl, what happened? Well, after finding out I was pregnant, I was scared. I didn’t want to have another miscarriage, so I looked up on ‘DR. Google’, best ways to get through the 1st trimester. I also, in this convoluted mind of mine, figured it would be best to just hold off on eating healthy, and just give in to temptation because it was obvious what the baby wanted! I don’t even know what kind of logic that was, or if I was just really losing it, but that’s what I did! I tell you guys, eating disorders are real and so is food addiction. (we will get all into my food addiction later on). I ate everything I saw, without a care in the world, and continued to do so up to the last day I was pregnant.
I ate out about three times per week, and when I cooked, it wasn’t anything healthy. I went back to eating my favorite, regular-sized Hershey’s symphony bar daily. It was just horrible. I was out of control. It wasn’t surprising when I stepped on the scale after I had my son, and for the first time seen 307 lbs. My first thought, “what the heck, what am I supposed to do now?” followed by tears. Here we go again! I had worked so hard to almost see ONEderland (a term used to describe the number one digit in front of your weight), and I sabotaged myself during this entire pregnancy! How was I to recover after this!
